Friday, April 3, 2015

Guest Reader Jessica Adkins: Living Love Loud by Becoming a Surrogate

Welcome, Dear Readers!
This year I've set out to get to know you better, hear your story, what God's done or doing in your life, lessons learned, trials, triumphs, recipes, and fun projects. I want to hear what you have to say, and so do a whole host of others.

Today we welcome Jessica Adkins! Jessica has quite a testimony to share with you, and it seems quite fitting given that it's Easter weekend, and we have so much life to celebrate!

Meet Jessica:
I’m 28 weeks pregnant with a precious baby boy. The twist? He’s not my husband’s baby...or mine! I am a gestational surrogate for an international family. I am just the incubator, or an extreme babysitter, for another family’s biological child. 
Meet Jessica Adkins
At this point, there Is no hiding that I’m pregnant! So, there are a lot of questions and comments from random people. Everyone loves a pregnant person! Or maybe it’s just they love to give advice and talk about your size! Most comments are from strangers making small talk who don’t know I’m a surrogate. I often struggle with knowing when to tell people that I’m carrying for a family or when to just smile and say, “Thank you.” 
My desire during this journey was to be open and vulnerable and make the entire process known.  I wanted people to see my heart, how The Lord was working through this, and what an amazing blessing this has been for both our families…it’s just kind of hard to share that in a 3 minute conversation! When I do mention that I’m a surrogate there are some people who are instantly supportive, but I mostly get a really weird sideways glance with three responses, “Why would you do that?” “I could never do that” and “Won’t you be too attached?” 
I totally understand all of those questions! I thought those too. I have been living through this process almost two years now and often times it’s still crazy to me that I’m pregnant with another family’s baby! I didn’t enter this process lightly and without prayer or guidance. I completely understand people have different opinions and values that they are entitled to.
We have 2 small children of our own. They are such a blessing and bring so much joy to our lives. Daily they humble us and teach us amazing truths about God’s love...but we feel complete with our family! No more planned babies for us! However, maybe that would convince my husband to buy me the minivan that I so desperately want…
When we made that decision not to have anymore kids, my heart was kind of sad! I am not a great pregnant person who loves every second of being pregnant if that’s what you assume! I complain about being pregnant every day that I’m pregnant…but there was still this longing to help create life, or carry life. Crazy woman hormones. 
As I’ve gotten older, I was taken back by the amount of infertility struggles that so many women and our close friends were struggling through. Honestly, I didn’t know surrogacy was a valid option until I quickly researched it. Once it was on my heart, I couldn’t get it off. 
One of my favorite versus is 1 John 3:18-24; “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech, but with actions and in truth…” 
When I read this verse, it always hits me in a different way depending on my stage in life. How can I ‘love out loud’? I wanted to not only have a heart for families by being supportive and praying for them…I wanted to find a way to love them with actions. My body could carry a baby and there are families that desire a baby, so why not?! Obviously, there is more involved, but those were my beginning prayers! 
We chose to pursue surrogacy through an agency for the protection of our family. There are a lot of laws, medical, and legal issues that come along with surrogacy. Having an agency handle the business aspect allows us to focus on the relational side. We were matched with a wonderful couple based on our interest and personalities. It has been the greatest match. The mom had tried IVF 3 times before cancer was found and she had to have a full hysterectomy. They were on the adoption list for several years, but waiting up to five years is common. They chose to come to the US to pursue surrogacy since it is illegal in their country. 
Aren’t you going to be attached?
Precious Baby Boy
Right now, I am focused on enjoying this process. My husband and I are loving the relationship we are building with the parents. Being able to meet a couple we would have never known and call them family now is amazing. A pregnancy has never went by this fast in the past! It really is enjoyable…maybe because I now realize how amazing of a gift being pregnant is?! I love to feel him move, kick, and punch because I know he’s growing and is healthy. My husband feels my belly and is protective over my pregnancy and health. We both love the baby and his parents. So, yes we are attached! 
However, it’s just different. I don’t feel like he is my baby (because he’s not). I don’t have a crazy plan to ‘keep him’.  It could be because I’m not spending that time nesting in our home and planning his future. I feel like I love him and want the best for him…for him to be with his parents who love and desire to finally be able to hold him in their arms! The excitement and anticipation of that moment make it all worth it. 
I am not just helping to create a baby for a family…but a future brother, son, uncle, husband, father, and grandfather! That makes my role in this feel so small in comparison of what God can do through him. 
I would love your prayers for the rest of this pregnancy and over this sweet little boys life! If you would like to follow our journey you can check out my blog at:

Thank you for being with us today Jessica! I'm moved to tears, and I will be praying for you, your family, this precious boy, and his family. You'll have to come back and give us update info and pics!!

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful post and what a precious gift to give. Thanks for sharing this.