Thursday, July 21, 2016

A New Normal: Life After Loss

Death is a part of life, yes, we know, but when death takes a family member…we wish it wasn’t a part of life.

We’ve known friends who’ve passed, soldiers who gave their lives, and even young children who left this world too soon. Our hearts have ached for them, the magnitude of such a loss, and for their family…their parents, their spouse, their children.  But this time, death was closer.

My mother in law, Pam, passed away on July 1st after a hard fought battle with cancer days before her 55th birthday.  Pam was a wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, grandmother, niece, and friend. Many have been impacted by her passing. 

Even after laying her to rest, we can’t believe she’s gone. It doesn’t make sense how someone so full of life, smiles, and witty stories could simply pass away seven months after a diagnosis. If anyone could beat cancer, it would’ve been Pam. But now…we have to find a new normal—a life without Pam, but with the hope of seeing her one day in heaven. 

Pam & My Husband
This hope is great, and fills us with joy, but does not diminish the pain we are feeling. Simply put, we hurt.  It hurts to watch my husband, a man who’s known untold loss in his life as a soldier, struggle to deal with the death of his mother. It hurts to watch my children grasp at the reality that Memaw is no longer with them. 

It’s okay to hurt, to grieve, and cry. There’s permission to be angry, and to question God. He’s big enough to handle our pain, and our doubts.

But right now, we’re not doubting. We’re not asking “Why Pam?” or “Why our family?” as if to push this pain on some other family. We are, however, asking “What now?” “How do we move on?” “When will we find a new normal?”

In the quietness of my morning prayers I hear God’s voice telling me to feel all of it…all of the pain and grief. To embrace it, and push through it with Him not matter how much it hurts. And that’s when I realized, I don’t need to know ‘what’, ‘how’, or ‘when,’ but WHO. WHO will show us what’s next? WHO will show us how to move on? And WHO will place us in a new normal? 

It’s God. God is the answer. And if I know who, then the rest really doesn’t matter. There’s something quite freeing in this realization.

So here’s to pushing through the pain with the One who knows all, and mourns even more over the loss of a loved one. And here’s to pushing through the pain with the One who knows the way to a new normal, and to the One who gives us hope and eternal life through Jesus Christ for anyone who chooses to believe. 


1 comment:

  1. This is so true...grieving a lost one leads to a new normal. The "old" normal is gone. My prayers are with you as you let God lead you into this new place.