A Tale of Forgiveness via the Deaths of Sea Monkeys

Ugh. I'm a sea monkey killer. Admitting is the first step to healing. lol.  



picture from wordpress.com

What a week my friends! I'm looking at a pile of clothes that need to be folded, game pieces tossed about in the floor. Nice. My house looks lived in right now. Inviting, but lived in. Maybe I should light an apple scented candle? It's nap time here at the Conway house--Thank you JESUS for naptime! Though the house is quiet, I can't seem to shake the thought that on my table, swimming about in a make shift tiny tank, are several tiny sea monkeys on the verge of death because I threw away their food by mistake. A few have already perished from starvation...ugh...I'm drenched in guilt. Did you know that not even Walmart sells Sea Monkey food?? I've been all over the place trying to find what these critters need to survive and NO ONE sells it. By the time I've ordered special sea monkey food, they will have all died. I might as well go ahead and give myself a new title to accompany Christian, Army Wife & Mother: Sea Monkey killer.

It was an honest accident. Not like the time I "accidentally" broke my son's flute, or the time I "accidentally" ripped a larger hole in my husband's favorite Khaki shorts he had been wearing since high school--those things HAD to go. I honestly did not mean to throw away the sea monkey food.

My son will be heartbroken to know there are only five little monkeys left--no they're not jumping on the bed. Stop smiling, it's not funny. :)

I'm going to have to ask for his forgiveness. Though it's trivial, and these little critters are just some  microscopic floating specks, I feel terrible that they are going to die, and even more terrible at how upset my son will be. It seems lately I've had to ask his forgiveness a lot.

• I'm sorry I raised my voice at you. Please forgive me.
• I'm sorry I kissed you in front of your friends. Please forgive me.
• I'm sorry I wasn't listening well when you were trying to tell me something. Please forgive me.
• I'm sorry I ate your Popsicle when you went to the bathroom. It was staring at me. Please for forgive me.
• I'm sorry I lost your reading book list; I'll make another one. Please forgive me.

And now: "I'm sorry I starved your sea monkeys to death. Please forgive me."

My son is always very eager to forgive me. He may be sad about what's happened, but he's always ready to forgive when I ask. I love that quality about him, and I wish I were more like him in that regard.

Am I always so willing to forgive? No. Such a bummer. Sometimes I think it's because I don't know who my anger or frustration is towards. It's not always a person that offends me, but rather, it's the circumstances of life. It's when you find out your husband may be home early from deployment and then the plans change. It's when unexpected, inconvenient things happen that can cause an unforgiving attitude to take hold. In those instances, there is no one in particular that unforgiveness is directed towards, so is there still a need to ask for forgiveness?

Definitely.

Unforgiveness can lead to depression, rage, bitterness, resentment, negativity, stress and stress related illnesses, as well as a host of other emotional problems. Forgiving doesn't have to have a person involved. Forgiving is about letting go of the right to stay offended over a wrong committed against you in order to live a full life without some stormy cloud following you around. It took me awhile to learn this concept, and it's taken even longer to put it into practice. What can I say? I'm a work in progress.

My son's got this whole forgiveness thing down pat. I think I may take notes from him tonight when I ask for his forgiveness again.

Poor Sea Monkeys. Should I hold a funeral for them?